To be honest this summer has been rough. Our kids feel like they are all in ages where they are having a hard time playing together. They do not get into deep play unless it’s separate. Getting them to play separate is a struggle as well because initially they do not want to play separate. I went on a morning walk and when I reach my halfway point I always stop to pray. Today I prayed that the Holy Spirit fill me; I didn’t sleep well and feel off so I I knew I needed to lean in. My problem is that I will pray for the Holy Spirit to move but I don't change the things in my control. I’ll still try to get a bunch done and get frustrated when I’m overwhelmed. I get upset over how my kids are playing but don’t stop folding laundry to play with them. This morning I ended up separating them to play in their rooms, which worked out okay while I folded clothes. But I quickly went back to responding out of anxiety when they got back to bickering and unkindness. Right now I’m sitting at a park allowing them to play before swim lessons. My hope would be that with the rest of the day, I could align my expectations with my reality. I may not be able to vacuum the couch like I want to, but that I could remember relationship is more important. If I’m feeling overwhelmed with my kids and house, there are things that can be set aside to focus on choosing to be a joyful mom.
I wrote the majority of this back in June shortly after summer started. I still struggle with the to-do list and getting things “checked off”. However I recently listened to a sermon where the pastor emphasized that we need to put our presence with God over our “progress”. The fact is true progress; like the kind that refines you and grows you in the best ways, will not start until you are putting your relationship with God first. Then your spouse, then kids. I am working on asking God what He would want out of my day and then moving forward. Sometimes that may look like asking God what He would want for my next hour or few minutes. My prayer would be that if you haven’t yet, you could take time to seek God’s presence before you check all the items off your to do list.
