I shared last week some of the health issues I have been going through over the last three weeks and I am going to share some more about that today. I am overall in the same place…well actually I am not in the same place. When I was writing last week, I think we were at the stage where we though that my ovarian cyst had ruptured. It turns out that the cyst did not rupture, which I don’t necessarily think is good news. I honestly would have rather it ruptured and then know that the pain would be gone, however that same cyst is still there. And after multiple ultra sounds, CT scans and another trip to the ER we know that nothing else is going on. That must be the source of pain that I have been experiencing lately and while the pain has become more manageable, I am still experiencing daily pelvic pain. Right now the next step is following up with another doctor who hopefully will have fresh perspective and insight. They are also a wholistic doctor who I am hoping I can chat to about regarding any diet or lifestyle changes that may help with cysts. Right now, I am focusing on prayer and contentment.
I have been down the road of ovarian cysts many times, I believe I have had surgery four times to remove cysts prior to my hysterectomy in 2021. And this is actually the first cyst I have had since then, so in some ways that is good news! But when we were trying to get pregnant and my endometriosis was bad I made changes my diet to help improve symptoms as well as our chances at having a baby. So I am hoping there are some changes I can make now as well!
I wanted to share that to paint a picture of where I am right now, physically not feeling well, emotional drained because of feeling unwell, the holidays are approaching which can carry stress, and I am still a busy mom of four who’s also trying to keep up with work! With all of that being said…I want to share 3 ways I focus my prayer life when going through a tough season. To be totally honest, keeping up with my prayer journaling has been hard to do over these past few weeks. But I have consistently been reading my Bible, I am so close to being done with my Bible In The Year plan and it will be the first time I have completed a plan like this and I am so excited. While I prefer to read in my actual Bible, having it on my phone has made it so easy to just grab and read. It has provided much comfort while not feeling well.
- The first thing that helps my prayer life is starting with gratitude prayers. This has helped my prayer life so much because even in my hardest times it allows me to remember that God pours out blessings all the time. I may be feeling overwhelmed, I may be in pain, I may want answers but when I go to God and first remember what He has already provided, it serves as a reminder that He will continue to provide. I know that if things are not good then God is not done and looking at the things I have despite any struggle is a reminder of that. I have also found that if I put myself in a place of gratitude, it is in a better place to receive what he is trying to tell me through that season of struggle.
- I pray for others, typically this will start with prayers for my husband and kids. But then God will place people on my heart and I pray specific prayers about them. God has surrounded me with so many wonderful Christian women in my life that I often have a prayer request on hand I can focus on. Praying for someone else puts my heart in a place where I am focusing not on myself, but on God and how he works in other peoples lives.
- The last thing I do to focus my prayer life when going through a tough season is looking back on my prayer journal entries to months before. Sometimes I will find that I still have similar requests but often I am able to see prayers answered that I don’t even remember. These are smaller details that go into a day; maybe praying over a kid’s field trip or something happening with one of the kids behaviors, but they aren’t the monumental big things God has done in my life, so they may be harder to recall. But looking back on past prayer entries reminds me that God cares about all aspects of our lives. If we are going through a struggle for a long period of time, we may think that God is done in that area of our life or it’s a prayer that he just isn’t hearing. God works on His timeline, not ours and sometimes the answer to our prayer is “not right now” Of course I would have liked to have more specific answers regarding this ovarian cyst at one of my trips in the ER, or there is even a part of me that would be okay with hearing the doctor say “we have to do surgery to remove it”. Let’s face it, in today’s world we often don’t have to wait for answers or to get what we want, but God’s answer isn’t going to come exactly when we want it to. Finding the small prayers that God has answered for me before, helps to strengthen my faith when I am waiting on a bigger answer.
If you are going through a tough season my hope would be that you can use these to guide your prayer life. I think they are good prompts even if you aren’t in a tough season. Prayers of gratitude can happen at any time and prayers of praise are some of the best. I know that when don’t know the plan we can always trust the one in charge of the plan, and it helps to remember that His plan for our lives is always better than what we would have done.
Blessings,
Ellen
