This week our older kids are on break, their break is actually full week of school followed by the first three school days of a second week. This means we have quite a few days where it is normally the twins and I at home, to all four kids and I at home. And don’t get me wrong, I love having all four kids at home. I am always learning that it really does go by as fast as I have been told, and I am working to cherish every memory I can. But the reality is that this shift in our routine also comes with some struggles. Our daughter Eva thrives on routine, which is one reason she loves school (and does very well at it too). Any time we have a change due to breaks or a new season starting there is a bit of adjustment we need to work through. The house certainly feels a lot louder and more chaotic with everyone home all day so it is harder for me to get moments of quiet, which has also meant they are watching more TV than I’d like but I am trying to be graceful with myself as well as them.
I shared simple and affordable activities that we are focusing on in break in my last post and we have done some. I have to gently remind myself and you, dear reader, that the post you read or photos you see online are a glimpse into what our home looks like. And if you think that these ideas are always played out perfectly I am here to let you know that, yes we do get to the fun baking or activities, but it is not always an easy path there. Each time we have baked this week it has included fights and tears because kids will get upset at one another over a stool, or melt down because they wanted to pour the sugar not the flour. I’ve shared this many times, but in the past I have let that stop me from involving them and I am constantly working to push past that instinct and include them. I know the memories are worth it and if we are able to bounce back to joy from the tantrum, the memory will be of us baking together, not about the tantrum that was thrown. In our world of social media and selected photos on a blog post, it can be easy to compare yourself to what you see online, which sets up an unrealistic expectation of how these days go. It even creates an impostor syndrome in myself thinking “who am I to share ideas when we are struggling through this?” But I am here to share all of the nitty gritty details, the mess that comes with motherhood and my prayer would be that you can find encouragement in that.
Today I want to focus on some activities that really help my kids and sometimes feel like work to get set up, but are always worth it. I don’t want to just focus on the cleaning up to get things set out and then the clean up after because that will prevent my kids from something truly helpful. It’s easy to throw a show on or let our son play Nintendo, and we do plenty of that, but there are other activities that are very calming to them; they just may take a little more effort. In our house, the dining room table is where most things happen. It is where we eat most of our meals, it’s where we play card games, it’s where the kids color, it’s a lot of times where they play and if we are doing any other activity, it is likely on this table. This means that if we are going to get something set up, we often have to clean off the table and give it a good wipe down before we can start. I try to invite the kids into that process and usually at least one of them is very helpful with getting that done. So without further ado, here are some activities that we love and always find very helpful; especially on a tough day.
- Watercoloring: Eva discovered how much she loves to watercolor in kindergarten. We have had the kids paint before but it has never been a “go to” for us until a couple years ago. Eva started asking me about watercoloring and I told her that some people water color in their Bibles and that opened the world of Bible watercoloring for her and I. We started looking up Youtube tutorials about watercoloring and different techniques. We both discovered that there are great beginner techniques for creating beautiful florals and cacti and had a lot of fun learning about it. Jack and the twins then wanted to get involved as well. And I have learned that it can be very calming for all of the kids. The nice thing about it is that the older kids can really get it all set up on their own. And the clean up is pretty minimal, so sometimes it feels like a lot to get all set up but when you are doing it, you realize that it wasn’t too much. We have used it as quiet activity Jack and Eva do while the twins get ready for bed. We actually got it set up this morning and I wanted the kids to water color while I got some baking ready, it ended up being on the table all morning and one of our kids had a huge melt down. Probably one of the biggest melt downs I have experienced in a long time and I also got pretty upset. Once they had laid down to rest for a bit and calmed down for a while, we sat down together with the paints/pencils and talked through the situation while they water colored. The legalistic side of me wanted to be like “no, they need to be in their room for this conversation” but that is not what they needed, they needed an activity that would help their mind and body feel calm and then they were ready to talk. It allowed us to connect again and each apologize and talk through what had happened then return to joy; and in reality this kid was listening a lot better than if we were in their room with me trying to force them to listen before they were ready.
- Making bracelets: for BabyCloth I have plenty of bracelet supplies and when I first started buying beads I actually bought ones specifically for the girls. Beads that were larger so they would be easier for them to string yet as Eva has gotten older and made her own bracelets for a while, she enjoys using the smaller beads and makes quite beautiful patterns. The twins still use the larger beads but I’m sure we will all be using the small ones fairly soon. One thing that I love about making bracelets is that often the girls want to make them for other people. It helps shift their moods to thinking about others, it’s possible that shortly before pulling this activity out they were having a hard time sharing, or upset because they did not want to clean up, but bracelet making shifts their attitude towards others. I love making bracelets with words of affirmation for how God feels about us and I do that with the girls too. I recently made Eva a bracelet that says “Jesus❤️Me” and I trust that the same way a bracelet that says “joy” or “blessed” helps me through a day, it will also help my girls. I have to remind myself of how calming this activity is for all of us because when we are having a tough day, the last thing I typically want to do is pull out an activity that spills beads all over, or can feel a bit overwhelming when two or three of them need help at once. But I have to also remember how much it helps calm everyone down and shift their thinking towards others rather than themselves.
- Get outside: this morning especially was tough. We just were all having a hard time staying calm and not letting our emotions get the best of ourselves. I had already planned taking the kids to one of our neighborhood parks and usually I do like getting there earlier than later. But man, this morning was just full of fighting and fits and a lot of obstacles. I will tell you though that once we finally got ready for the day, had snacks packed, sand toys ready and water bottles all set we were leaving for the park later than I wanted but it was so worth it. There were many times I wanted to throw my hands in the air and just call it a day (at 10am) but walking up to the park helped get out some pent up energy and then when we got there and the kids started playing in the sand it was the sensory input they needed. All of them just went straight to it and started playing. They got to calm down a bit and I was able to drink my coffee and watch them play. At some points other kids came and we shared sand toys and scooters and it just went so well. It was a great break in our crazy morning, and yes when we got home we continued to have a tough day, however this helped our morning so much. I imagine our day would have been so much tougher had we not gotten outside.
I hope no one reads this and think that I am suggesting you do all of these things in one day, or that they will be a magic trick when you’re having a tough day, but having some of these ideas in my back pocket have helped a lot. And as your kids get older these are things that they can pull out on their own, they can become great self calming activities or quiet time activities. My prayers is that teaching my kids to have a creative outlet will be something they continue into adulthood. I also know that getting outdoors or exercising helps me when I am feeling stressed, so again I pray that doing this with my kids at a young age sets the foundation for when they are older. As I mentioned our day continued to be tough, water coloring or going outside didn’t fix it permanently, however even it helping in the moment provided a great comfort. What activities do you rely on during a tough day? I’d love to hear from you in the comments below.
